fuck.

still hurts.

iloveyou.

i want to be with you more than anything.
but youre too busy having fun with your new life without me.
you kept feeding me bullshit about how you still love me
and one day we'll be together.
lies.

focusing on the positive....

things that make me happy:

- FAMILY<333
- FRIENDS<333
- CHURCH<333
- knowing that God is always with me

- warm blankets fresh out of the dryer on a cold winter day
- updating my look
- changes of scenery
- playing guitar
- finding a comfortable position when relaxing
- snuggies!
- drinking green tea at the perfect temperature
- days when the weather is not too hot or not too cold
- wearing dresses and heels [:
- singing songs with funny accents
- talking in funny accents
- dancing around the room
- hearing people tell me im pretty/cute/beautiful XD
- making weird faces with a keyboard [: XD :P ^_^
- putting makeup on and having time to do your hair without rushing
- cute necklaces
- photo shoots!
- watching youtube videos
- IMing with people
- Vchatting [:
- cleaning out my room ridding myself with useless junk that i dont need
- reminiscing whilst cleaning out my room [:
- all nighters on the phone
- that time in the morning RIGHT before the sun comes up
- spending time with that one special person<3
- eating pho and drinking a taro from boba loca :9
- reading magazines or a good book
- that feeling of relaxation you get right after waking up from a nice nap!
- feeling like a celebrity
- knowing that you look pretty darn good today :D
- lying in an ocean of plushies with your best friend [:
- taking funny and/or gross pictures at IKEA
- making videos
- feeling youthfully mature [:
- doodling
- dancing and singing in the car with people
- being in love<3333

the way that i loved you.....

Everything’s cool, yeah
It’s all gonna be okay, yeah
And I know,
Maybe I’ll leave and
laugh about it someday

But not today, no
Cause I don’t feel so good
I’m tangled up inside
My heart is on my sleeve
Tomorrow is a mystery to me

(Chorus)
And it might be wonderful
It might be magical
It might be everything I’ve waited for,
A miracle
Oh, but even if I fall in love again
with someone new
It could never be the way I loved you

Letting you go is
making me feel so cold, yeah
And I’ve been trying to make
believe it doesn’t hurt

But that makes it worse, yeah
See, I’m a wreck inside
My tongue is tied and my
whole body feels so weak
The future may be all I really need

(Chorus)
And it might be wonderful, yeah
It might be magical
It might be everything I’ve waited for,
A miracle
Oh, but even if I fall in love again
with someone else
It could never be the way I loved you

Like a first love,
the one and only true love
wasn’t directly all over my taste, yeah
I loved you like you loved me
Like something pure and holy
Like something that can never be replaced

And it was wonderful,
It was magical,
It was everything I’ve waited for,
A miracle
And if I should ever fall in love again
with someone new
Oh, It could never be the way
No, It will never be the way
I loved you

sometimes i wonder if youre reading this.... and i wonder if maybe one day we'll be together again....
and when youre ready to be in a relationship.... i hope im the first person who comes to mind
i love you.

nevermind....

you gave up...
-_-

im probably really stupid
but im still hoping we'll get back together
:/

i love you.

rewind.

"never give up on someone you cant go a day without thinking about"

im not giving up.
but i think you are.
i just wish we could go back to summer.
when you looked at me with those loving eyes.
when you held me and told me everything will be okay.
when you called.
when you werent thinking about breaking up with me.
when all you wanted to do was be with me.
when we laughed and smiled a lot.
when i meant something to you.

even if you do decide to still be with me.
we'll never be the same.
i can never feel the same way about you.
i can never feel as safe with you as i did.

i cant take back all those nights i cried myself to sleep.
or all the days i havent eaten because i was too upset to get out of bed.
and you cant take back this heartache.

finding myself

A;; auld dubliner, arizona green tea, amorous, ACTING<3, attention whore, affection
B;; ballet, bracelets, BOOTS! bags, bullheads, baking
C;; CALVIN, cupcakes, candy, choco marshy upgrade, cartoons, converse, cuddling, church
D;; dreams, DANCING, dumplings, dorky
E;; enV touch, emotional, eye liner, excitement, encouragement
F;; FAITH, fireplaces, fresh laundry, flowers, fuity scents, FOOD!! facebook, FML, family
G;; GOD, guitar, giggling, gladiator sandals
H;; hello kitty, hyper, horchata, hello pandas :9, hearts, HIMYM
I;; ice cream, insomnia, inspiration
J;; jealous, jumpy, jennie :P, jack in the box, jason mraz, japanese music and style
K;; korean food!!! korean music, KOREAN MEN ;]
L;; LOVE, lindt's swiss chocolate, lame :P, lucky charms marshmallows, lazy days
M;; muffin, music, movies, making loud and random noises, mascara, MLIA
N;; nestea, nice, nervousness, nuturing, naps
O;; optimistic? usually -_- over-sized sunglasses, over-sized cardigans, outdoor activities
P;; panda express, pillows! peace signs, pupusas, passenger seat, PHO! pajamas, productive days
Q;; quiet, quirky, quality time at home
R;; random, ROMANCE, relaxing, reassurance, ROFLing
S;; SUNSETS, shy, singing, silly, stephen speaks SASQUATCH!!, skinny jeans, socks! spaztic! snickerdoodles
T;; taylor swift, tears, twitter, THE SINS<3
U;; uber dork!, uggs
V;; vests, v-necks, volumized hair
W;; white tank tops, warm weather, walks on the beach, warm blankets
X;; x-rays?!
Y;; yoo-hoo, yorkies, youtube, young
Z;; zoos?!