i love you.

i dont like being away from you
i dont like always wondering what your up to
i hate having to hang up the phone at night
i love your good morning texts
i love how you stay with me when im in tears
i miss that time you drove all the way back here just because i called you crying
i miss that other time you drove all the way to kraproom just to pick me up
i miss how exciting it was just being with you
i miss how you always made time for me
i remember when you called me for the first time
i remember how you just called cuz you wanted to hear me talk like a fumbled retard
i remember the time you told me you never want to break my heart
i dont like the fact that we can only see each other on the weekends
i hate the fact that we will be in jrp on the weekends
and you cant even hug me, let alone talk to me when we're there
i love how you can calm me down when im angry at you
i miss it when you texted me when your team won a game
or when you texted me for anything for that matter
i miss it when you told me i cheered you up when your team lost
i miss when you dropped everything just to see me
i hate it when i feel like you dont care about me
i hate crying myself to sleep at night
i remember when i was so sure you were different
now im praying that your different
i remember you would rush here if i needed you to, no matter what
now you just say your sorry, and you would come if you could


what happened?
what happened to the old calvin that did all those things?
the calvin that made me feel so special.
the one who always wanted to have his arm around me
and said he didnt care who sees
the one who would just look at me and smile**
the one who always sang for me
and dedicated songs for me
the calvin who treated me like a princess, who would open the car door for me
and who would always come to my rescue.
i guess all that stuff really is for fairytales.



** you looked at me like that on sunday. but its been so long and i forgot what it felt like that i just got all awkward.
but i miss you looking at me like that. it almost felt like we were in a music video for passenger seat.

it made me happy that you sung that song in class. but would it honestly kill you if you said you were singing it for me? would it be so bad if you acknowledged our relationship in jrp?



and im that stupid girl still wishing for her prince charming
even after acknowledging the fact,
im still praying for my prince charming
he's somewhere inside of you.


i love you.