hello there

i like getting to know people
[:

parallel universe

in this universe of mine. nothing can go wrong. nothing can hurt me. and everything is exactly the way i want them to be. its my perfect world. the world im meant to have. where your part of a loving, close nit family. your friends are REALLY your friends. lately.... ive been feeling like my parallel universe is becoming a reality. ive been spending qaulity time with my family. and i feel my acting skills growing each and everyday. this weekend has been more than perfect. nothing was wrong. in this world me and my brother get along and my mom isnt nagging about every little thing. i dont have to worry about trying to please everyone. my family is happy with what i have provided and they dont ask for more. all i need now is the friends part, the T part, and the hollywood part and my life will be far more better than i have ever imagined.

for now.... i dream of a world where family's eat breakfast at the table and melodic songs on the piano, flowers bloom these crazy colors, the weather isnt trying to kill you, and everyone is happy. there is no selfishness, or greed, no pain or suffering, no violence. just sheer bliss and understanding. compassion for others and peace. a world where life doesnt award the winner, but those who are brave enough to participate. a world where someone can walk down the street safely and you know everyone in your town. where chilvary is not dead.... where your boyfriend opens doors for you, pulls out your seat, puts their arm around you when your cold, calls you, takes you out on real dates.... and a world where girls are not sluts.... a world where no one does drugs and only drink on special occations like a glass of wine in a wedding or new year's. this is the world i long for. this is the world that is supposed to be. sometimes i wish the 50's would just make its comeback. im keeping my fingers crossed until then.

w t f !

why the fuck is it my responsiblity to make everyone happy?! everytime i focus on one friend, another one gets mad at me? its like when did it become my job to keep our friendship alive? friendship is a two way street. just because i dont tell you everything doesnt mean i have a problem. do i look like a fuckin hotel to you? i'm not here to satisfy your needs. its not my job to accomadate you! if you were really my friend you would just accept me for me. you keep telling me all these things wrong with me.... have you ever took the time to look at yourself?! there are so many things wrong with you that i could point out to you but do i?! no!! because i dont care. youre fucked up, but so am i. and i still love you. i still care for you. i still chose to be friends with you becuase we have fun together. why cant you see it like that? you claim to be so optimistic but your one of the most negative people i know! and i'm sensitive? your the one who's getting so butt hurt over nothing! you have no reason to be mad at you. you make me out to be such a horrible person.... how am i the horrbile one? im the one trying here and all you do is talk crap about me behind my back. i guess im so horrible for trying so hard. thank god school is almost over so i dont have to deal with you or any of this ever again. im so sick of your shit and me having to deal with it.

btw;; all the things you say are wrong with me and everything you say i do that is so fucked up.... you do it too.

yeeee boi....

doodles and names over written
i cant help it
cuz honey, i'm smitten
[;


its when he holds me in his arms
i feel safest
its when he says something funny
i laugh the hardest
its when he looks into my eyes with that grin on his face
i smile my biggest
its when he shows up at my house to wake me up
i feel most beautiful
its whenever i'm around him
i feel like me.
:]


my heart seems to smile
whenever i see your name on my caller ID
butterflies fill my stomach
whenever he says "i love you"
i cant help but laugh
whenever he laughs cuz its so contagious


i love how his hand always finds its way to mine
i love the way he picks me up into his arms and i just fit
i love how he eases my biggest insecurities
i love how he always surprises me right when i'm about to give up
i love how he leaves no room for second guesses.
i love him<3>

oh its that time of year again.

spring really is coming into effect this year. the trees are greener, the sun is shining. and love is floating among us. i wish to be a part of this phenomenon thats slapping smiles across those faces and filling stomach's with butterflies. its funny.... cuz i DID find that someone who makes me giggle and make me feel all those things you feel when you've fell into a big pot of puppy love. the closer i get to him the more i fall. but the more i fall, the more insecure i get. and this is the worst they have ever been. i dont want to be a rebound. i want genuine feeling and understanding. i want someone to share my life experiences with. i've been with a series or bad "relationships" one after another after another. i want just one good one. someone to make the rest of my senior year amazing! someone to make it unforgettable. cuz believe me, i'm unforgettable.


so lets embrace this influential season and the power of life and lets enjoy life yes?!
haha! everyone deserves love and i hope you all find that someone special.
so smile darling. we're gonna be okay....
<3




author's note;; what can i say? this seaon really gets to me. it makes me happy. and it should make you happy too.
:]

i'm that girl.....

i'm the girl who likes to wear dresses
but would rather rock chucks than heels
i'm the girl who raises her hand to answer a question in class
but just gets up and leave to go to the bathroom
i'm the girl who who's a total girlie girl
but a tom boy at heart
i'm the girl who can ride a roller coaster at 500 feet
but cant stand on a stool
i'm the girl who tries to look pretty
but always ends up in a t- shirt and jeans
i'm the girl who craves adventure
but finds herself sitting at home
i'm the girl who loves coloring books
but scribbles outside the lines
i'm the girl who believes everything she's told
but skeptical when it involves her heart
i'm the girl who thinks earmuffs are cool
but cuts the sleeves off of sweaters
i'm the girl who sees the beauty in everything
but cant see it when looking in the mirror
i'm the girl who could like someone a lot
but make them think otherwise

but i'm also the girl who's open minded
who loves to play video games and play hacky sack
who eats like a dump truck
who would fall asleep in your arms
who you love you with all her heart
who would be there for you no matter what
who would always try to maek you smile
who will always succeed in making you smile
who wou never deny a hug
who you would want to spend your days with...


<3

the first of many

i found something fun to do;; ITS ME FROM A - Z!

A is for ALLSTAR!! i love them lots!
B is for BANAN-CAKES! those yummy delights are the shits! thanks to tommy!
C is for CAMERoN!! i like this kid ALOT! but really i'm a crush whore. which is another C word! haha!
D is for DARiA! one of the best shows to have EVER hit the air waves! that and DANE COOK!
E is for ELECTRIC GUITAR!! my favorite thing in my room. pink hello kitty fender to be exact. :D
F is for FRIENDS && FOOD!! two things that i love most in this world!
G is for GOOD TIMES!! its moments likes those that makes the world go round.
H is for HAKKY SACK!! its the new cult classic! and HELLO KITTY<3333
I is for iRRELEVENT RESPONSES. i love giving people answers that has nothing to do with their question.
example;; Q: "where did you get that shirt?"
A; "elephants can paint self portraits with their noses."
J is for JoSEPH CAYANAN!! one of my favorite people in the world! and the JONAS BROTHERS<33
K is for KELLOGS CORN FLAKES! i love them [:
L is for LOVE!! my favorite word and feeling<333
M is for MUSiC && MYSPACE!! need i explain more?! haha!
N is for NUTRi-GRAiN!! i could eat those everyday for the rest of my life! mixed berry of course! yummy!
O is for oCToPUS!! i dont know about you but those critters are tight! [did she just say "tight"?] haha!
P is for PEOPLE!! i'm a people person, i like everyone. just not all at the same time. haha! && POOP. which is a subject i like to talk about often.
Q is for QUiNSENG!! cameron is dope. hahaha!
R is for RAZOR SCOOTERS!! i miss those things!
S is for SEVENTEEN!! its my current age and my favorite magazine.
T is for THiS SHOULDNT BE LEGAL!! my favorite song from my favorite band. and TAYLOR SWIFT!! my favorite singer!
U is for URANUS!! the scientest who named this planet must have been demented..... or dane cook. :]
V is for VALENTINES DAY!! this day caused the birth of one of my favorite youtube videos ever!
W is for WHATEVER! cuz i usually do "whatever" i feel like doing at the time. =P
X is for X-MEN!! only cuz i couldnt think of a word that began with X and i'm a nerd.
Y is for YELLOW!! for some reason, whenever i see the color yellow, i get strangely happy.
Z is for ZOOs!! its a place where i like to spend my time!


there you go! i again provide you with useless information. take it home. chew it. poop it out later.
<3>